Adventures in Ponyland
by Star Madison
Summary: Genma and Raidou end up somewhere they never expected.
1. Chapter 1

Utter crack ahead. This is your only warning.

I am not taking credit for any of this. Most of the blame for this story is leveled at a friend who made a comment about Genma and Raidou as ponies. My muses didn't help at all. Neither did two other friends. One who said we did worse in our roleplays and the other for supplying me with My Little Pony episodes.

This is just the first chapter of a short multi-chapter story. The next chapter will have two or three others in it. XD Who? That's a surprise! Also, this has absolutely NO bearing on my other stories. It's not linked to any of my other universes and is a complete stand-alone. I tried to write the next chapters for Thalassa's Story and ANB but the muses weren't behaving and my friend just had to make that comment which lead to this. Hopefully once this is out of my system, I can get those chapters out.

I don't own any of the ponies. Nor Genma or Raidou.

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"Ugh." Shaking his head, Genma forces his eyes open. Freezing, he takes in the fact that he is most pointedly **not **in his and Raidou's bedroom. Staring wide-eyed at the green landscape spreading out before him, he mutters. "I'm never drinking again. Or smoking. Or challenging Gai." A groan coming from his left catches his attention and he turns his head to see Raidou then blinks, trying to dispel the image of a blue pony that has his lover's distinct scars covering his face. Pauses and lifts a hand to rub at his eyes only to see a bright green hoof instead. Stops and swallows hard. "...Raidou...?"

"What is it Genma?" Groans as he struggles to his feet, wondering why he feels different and finally opens his eyes. Swinging his gaze towards his husband, he goes stockstill. "Genma?"

The light green pony faces him. "Yea, it's me."

"...Tell me this is a dream."

"I can't." Genma twists his head around to stare at his hind quarters then turns back to Raidou. "I'm green. Green with a green mane and tail. I'm a _pony!_ And you're blue! What was in those drinks Kakashi gave us last night? I'm going to i _murder /i _ him the first chance I get."

"We have company." Raidou's comment brings Genma's rant to a quick stop and both warily regard the half dozen brightly colored ponies approaching.

"Hello!" A pink pony with blue hair lands in front of them.

"...She has wings, Raidou."

"You have a horn."

Genma's entire body twitches and he shoots him a disbelieving look. "..."

"You're both new here, aren't you?" The pink pony speaks up again, her wings folded against her sides. "I'm Firefly." She's clearly waiting for their names.

"I'm Shiranui Genma and this is Namiashi Raidou."

"Welcome to Ponyland." Another pony speaks up, this one pale blue. "I'm Windwhistler. Please, make yourselves at home."

"They have weird names." What is clearly a baby speaks up in a loud whisper, staring at them with huge eyes, not seeming to notice she spoke loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Hush, Baby Buttons. That's not polite."

Turning to Raidou, Genma whispers faintly. "Ponyland? Please let this be a dream. A serious fucked up dream." He falls silent for a moment then shouts. "This is all Kakashi's fault. Kakashi! Only your screwed up imagination and sense of humor could come up with something like this! You better end this damn genjutsu so I can kick your ass, brat!"

Startled by his sudden shout, the ponies all leap backwards, staring at them with brightly colored eyes.

Baby Ribbon chimes up loudly. "Why is he talking to the sky? Is it going to answer him?" Without waiting for an answer, she tilts her head backwards and shouts. "HELLO SKY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY!?" Her mother is quick to shush her and she protests. "But he's doing it! Why can't I?"

"Hush Baby Ribbon."

Pouting, she listens to her mother but stares at the two new strange ponies hopefully.

"Momma? What's a...a...gen...jutsu?" Baby Lofty peers around her mother to get a good look at Genma and Raidou.

"You'll have to ask them."

Blinking, Baby Lofty immediately gallops at them. "What's a genjutsu?"

"It's magic." Raidou cuts off Genma before his lover can snap at the baby. "Something special only we know how to do."

"Oh. So I can't do it?"

"I'm sorry but only those born with the ability can." He goes to lift a hand to pat on her head, forgetting for a moment he is a horse, oh excuse me, a _pony, _and thus has no idea how to stand on three legs much less walk. Wobbling, he loses his balance and hits the ground, all four legs stretched out in funny angles.

"You're awfully klutzy, aren't you?"

The rest of the baby ponies surround Raidou as Genma tries to decide whether to laugh or try to help him up.

"Children, leave him alone. That's not polite." Ribbon ushers the children away from Raidou and helps him to his feet. "Come, I'll show you and your friend where you can stay."

"We'd like to get home, if it's all the same to you."

Ribbon glances behind her. "You'd have to speak with Mister Moochic for that."

"...Mister Moochic?"

"Yes. He knows everything. I'm sure he could help you return to your home." Nodding, Ribbon doesn't seem at all bothered by the name.

Genma, however, is having no such luck and looks torn between amusement and horror.

Raidou shakes his head and feels the disturbing motion of hair sliding along his neck. Twitching, he follows the others carefully as he tries to keep from tripping, hoping that this Mister Moochic can help them. The sound of running comes from behind him followed, 'hey! I'm running!' which is quickly followed by a thud and Genma goes rolling past.

"You're silly."

Raidou glances to the side, seeing a pony gazing at them. Genma sprawled upsidedown, his head sticking out of the bush he crashed into and his legs sticking from the top of said bush.

"That's just how Genma is."

"I noticed." Ember's tail flickers as she watches him struggle free of the bush and laughs. "Come with me. I told the others that I would take you both to Mister Moochic. I thought it was best if there wasn't a large crowd."

"Thank you." Nudging, _why in the hell is he beginning to get use to this?, _Genma he follows Ember. "You don't have markings like the others."

"I'm the only one to be born without any." She keeps up a slow and easy pace, clearly for their sakes.

They travel in silence for several minutes before Raidou decides to ask her something. "Do you know why we're here? Or how we ended up here?"

"Yes and no." Ember looks at them and gives them a small smile. "This isn't a genjutsu, Genma. Your friend Kakashi had nothing to do with this. It was an accident that brought you here. You both being ponies was...a side effect." She ignores Genma's mutterings, 'Kakashi is no friend of mine. I bet I'm dying from alcohol poisoning right now and that bastard is laughing.' Her attention is on something else entirely, staring at something intently than smiles. "Oh good. Mister Moochic seems to be ready for you."

"Ready? Ready for what?" Genma immediately latches onto that, his head swinging around to stare at the pink pony warily.

"You'll see." She trots across a small bridge, knowing that they will follow. "Here we are."

Raidou looks around, staring up at the massive mushrooms then sweatdrops heavily before he looks at Ember. "Where is this Mister Moochic?"

"I'm right here, good sir!" The elf bustles out of his house, a rabbit on his heels and beams happily at them. "Good to see you again, Ember! Now let's take care of our guests!" Clapping his hands, he motions to the female pony.

Stepping forward, she allows the locket around her neck to be removed and Mister Moochic opens it, a rainbow sailing out to hover around their heads.

"Good good!" He reaches into his pocket and feels around for something but gets poked and looks at Habbit. "Oh there it is! Thank you." Accepts the item and flips it open, a blast of sparkles shooting out to surround the rainbow.

Both the rainbow and sparkles glow brightly, soon causing everyone to look away.

"Now! Hop through. The portal should return you to where you belong."

"Wait! Should?!" Genma's voice cuts through the air, having taken two steps towards the portal when the words hit him.

"Oh yes yes. Should. This has never been tried before! Hurry hurry or it'll close and you'll be trapped here forever." Shooing them towards the portal, he waves as they tumble through. "Goodbye!"

"Goodbye, Raidou, Genma. Good luck in getting home." Ember's voice mingles with the elf's, both sounding as if they are coming from far away.

Flat on his stomach, Raidou groans and pushes himself upright, eyes tightly closed from blocking out that bright light. Cracking one eye open, he notices that they're on the floor of their living room and lets out a sigh of relief. "We're home, Genma."

"...Yea but how in the hell are we going to explain _**this?!" **_The unusual tone to his lover's voice has him rolling over and opening his eyes to see what is wrong. "Uh..." He stares at the younger man with a mix look of horror.

Sitting in front of the couch, Genma looks absolutely disgruntle. Having a unicorn horn sticking out of his forehead and his once brown hair is now a dark green and seems to have what looks like a tail spread out behind him.

"At least I'm not the only one."

"What?" Distracted by the fact his husband still has animal parts and misses what he said next.

"You have wings and a tail. Your hair is blue too." He sounds a bit too gleeful when repeating what he had said.

"..."

"It's kinda of cute, love." A pause. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get drunk enough to pass out and hopefully when I wake up, this will have all been a bad dream."

"..Good idea. I'm going to join you."


	2. Chapter 2

I got an amusing response to the first chapter of this story. So I'm back for another go. I'm planning to have about five chapters of this written. A friend asked if I was sticking to just the Naruto characters. For now, yes. I'm not sure if I want to try and write other anime characters in this kind of story.

Still crack-induced. The Naruto gang in Ponyland. It's still read at own risk.

Let's see who gets a turn this time.

I don't own Naruto or My Little Pony.

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"Kakashi?"

"Hm?"

"Please tell me that you pissed off Kurenai-san recently."

Iruka's voice filters through Kakashi's sleepy mind and the silver haired man shifts as the strange tone sends up warning bells in his head. Taking his time to respond, Kakashi carefully doesn't make any sudden movements. "Not even I can piss off someone who isn't even in Konoha, love. Kurenai has been out of the village for the last week and half on a mission with her team." He finally opens his eye to look at his lover then stops. Blinks at the dark cream pony with a horn and dark honey colored mane and tail and a very distinct scar across its' nose. Said pony which is glaring rather intently at him. And so ready to use the horn as a weapon. "Iruka?"

"Yes it's me you bastard! Who in the hell did you piss off?!" 'Iruka' roars, jerking his head side to side and that horn sails dangerously close to Kakashi's face as he leaps up and up and up, _'what the hell!?_. "Get down here so I can stab you, bastard!"

"Huh?" Kakashi twists his head around and freezes as he sees silver wings beating at the air, holding him aloft. Dropping his head as far down as he can, he stares at what is clearly four silver legs with a pale silver hair flickering from what can only be his back end. "This wasn't my fault!" Yelps as his lover tries to leap up in an attempt to stab him. Lunging out of reach, he stares down at Iruka.

"Lies!"

Frantically searching for an answer that will stop Iruka from trying to run him through with that rather sharp looking horn. "I don't even know what the hell is this place! We were in that clearing last I knew! You suggested I take a nap so I did. I can't perform jutsus asleep."

Angrily, Iruka snarls up at Kakashi. Slowly the truth of the words sink in and he exhales loudly. "You're right."

"Are you going to keep trying to stab me?"

"Don't push your luck." Scowling, he shoots him a look. "Get down here."

"Only if you promise that you won't attack me." Kakashi refuses to budge, hovering in mid-air.

"Fine I won't. Is that good enough?"

Beaming, he tries to descend and finds that he can't. "Uh. I seem to be stuck."

"...How can you be _**stuck in mid-air!? Aren't you suppose to be a genius, asshole?!"**_

Ignoring Iruka's insult, Kakashi cranes his neck around to stare at the wings fixed to his sides and regards them. "Hmm." The flapping of said wings suddenly increase and eyes huge, he goes spiraling straight for a tree, out of control. Tilting his head around, he peers around him, finding himself hanging upsidedown by his hind legs and completely tangled up in the branches. Pain lances up one side and he tries to see what he damaged. A worried shout comes from below and he calls back. "I'm fine. Just tangled."

Peering up through the branches, Iruka tries to locate his lover, front hooves braced on the tree. "For a so-called genius, you suck at flying, love."

"Give me a break. It was my first time." The voice is suddenly _**a lot **_closer and Kakashi comes falling out of the tree to slam squarely into Iruka.

Tangled up together, neither notices the amused ponies watching them.

Iruka lets out a string of curses as he kicks his way free, nailing Kakashi in the head, groin and just under one wing. Freezing, he stares at the newcomers. "...Hello..?"

"Maaa, since when were you so mean to me, love?" Kakashi's pitiful sounding voice comes from behind him.

"Since you became an asshole." Snapping, he glares at his lover only to wince when he sees that the other man..eh pony is bleeding. "I'm sorry."

Making a so put upon sound, Kakashi gingerly lays down and frowns. His eye focused on the strangers warily.

"I wonder if they're like the other two that showed up."

They share a look, _'others?'_

"They do seem to be rather clumsy."

"Do they have funny names too?"

"Are you going to teach us genjutsu?"

The voices mingle together as the ponies whisper among themselves, only the last question aimed at Iruka and Kakashi.

Blinking down, he stares at the small pony regarding him curiously. "Where did you hear that term from?"

"Genma and Raidou."

Sighing, Iruka shakes his head, deciding that Genma and Raidou are cursed and the cause of this happening to him and Kakashi. "I'm afraid not, little one. Only certain people can learn how to do that."

"People?" Baby Lofty stares at him. "You're a pony."

"Right." He pauses then looks at the baby pony. "Where are we?"

"Ponyland! Our home. I'm Baby Lofty! What's your name?"

"I'm Iruka and that's Kakashi."

Baby Lofty immediately spins and shouts. "It's Kakashi, Baby Ribbon! The person Genma yelled at!" Bounding over, she races around Kakashi happily.

"..."

Knowing how his lover is around young children, Iruka quickly goes to his rescue. "Now now, children, calm down." Uses his teacher's voice and sternly gets them to behave.

"Listen to Iruka." A newcomer pushes her way through, shooing others away with ease. "I apologize for them. It's not too often strangers show up in Ponyland. The baby ponies are still excited from your friends' visit." Ember pushes Baby Ribbon away with the ease of long practice. "Twilight will heal your friend for you."

"Actually, he's my lover."

"Yes, I figured as much. Much like Genma and Raidou are married." Agreeing, Ember nods to a nearby unicorn who makes her way towards Kakashi. She laughs at his surprised look. "Don't look so shocked. When one gets to be my age, you learn to see things others don't. To know things others don't."

Watching the unicorn heal his lover, he asks the question that won't leave him alone. "Could you help us get home?"

"I don't know." Her voice is soft and regretful as she answers. "Mister Moochic sent your friends home without a problem, I believe. Will that work again? I wish I could say yes. If you want, I can take you to him."

"Thank you." Relief heard in his voice as he thanks her, grateful for her help. Several shouts gain their attention and both look to see who is yelling.

Hanging upsidedown in mid-air, wings beating furiously, Kakashi tries to escape from the brats. Baby Lofty darting around him and he flips right side up and with wings grabbing at the air, zooms off at high speed. Baby Lofty tries her best to follow him. Glancing back, he smirks at the baby.

"KAKASHI LOOK OUT!"

Swinging his head around at Iruka's shout, he sees the fast approaching tree branch and struggles to stop. Slamming into the branch, he spins rapidly around it before hitting the ground on his back, legs all askew.

"Kakashi!"

"...Iruka?"

"Are you alright?!" Peering anxiously down at him, he nudges him with his nose.

"I think brakes are needed."

"..."

"Iruka?"

"Yes, Kakashi?"

"I'm hor..

"HATAKE KAKASHI THERE ARE BABIES PRESENT! YOU WILL NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" Eye twitching, Iruka looms over his laying down lover, a scowl on his face.

Innocently gazing up at the irrate pony, he beams. "I was going to say I'm horribly hungry. Why, sensei, what did you think I was going to say?"

Muscle spasming in his forehead, Iruka lets out a bellow and launches himself forward. Grabbing Kakashi by the throat, he proceeds to strangle him. Bright red and shrieks. "IF I WAS ABLE TO FORM HANDSEALS RIGHT NOW, YOU WOULD BE DEADMEAT, HATAKE!" Completely ignoring the fact that the older 'pony' just fell out of the sky after colliding with another tree branch.

"Iruka, he's turning blue. While it's rather attractive against his silver coloring, I don't think you want him dead." Ember's voice breaks into the scuffle and both freeze. Kakashi half on top of Iruka and has a hoof clamped over his mouth which Iruka is trying his best to bite. Iruka is sprawled on his back with both hooves wrapped tightly around Kakashi's throat and they share a long look before releasing each other.

Sounding far too amused, the female pony lets out a laugh and shakes her head. "Come on, we're not far from Mister Moochic's."

Limping, they follow her but don't get very far when Iruka starts to feel strange. Feeling himself tumbling towards the ground, Kakashi's concerned voice sounding far away, he blacks out.

"Iruka? Wake up."

Something insistently taps him on the cheek and he lifts a hand, batting it away then his eyes fly open as memory intrudes. Sitting bolt upright, he stares at his hands then turns to see the person was trying to wake him up. "..." Two mismatched eyes stare back at him but the face they're set in is all wrong.

"What's wrong?"

"You...you didn't change back."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're still a pony!"

Kakashi blinks at him then glances down at himself. "Yea, I noticed."

"WHAT?!"

"On the plus side, we're back in Konoha. Or I think we are." Brightly relays that piece of information to his lover.

"...How are we going to explain the fact that you, the Copy Nin, is a goddamn pony?!"

"Ember gave me something she hopes will work."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then I'm stuck like this permanently." Sounds very cheerful over that.

A vein twitches in his face and he turns a bright, dangerous red. "Kakashi." His voice is low and husky. "I suggest you run."

"Oh? Why?"

"BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU, ASSHOLE! GET BACK HERE!" Charges after his beloved, not realizing that he didn't turn back human fully either.

Leaping away, Kakashi takes to the sky and grins down at the very irate chuunin. "You have to catch me first."

"GET DOWN HERE, BASTARD, BEFORE SOMEONE SEES A FUCKING FLYING PONY!"

"Too late."

"Gai-sensei, what is that?!"

"WHAT A BEAUTIFUL AND LOVELY CREATURE! IT IS A SIGN THAT OUR YOUTH IS ETERNAL!"

"SHUT UP GAI-SENSEI!" Iruka shrieks that, bursting out from some trees and throws a rock at the spandex wearing man.

Taken back by the sudden attack, Gai falls over from being nailed in the head by said rock.

"Gai-sensei!"

"You shut up too, Lee!"

"...Iruka-sensei?"

"Not now! Where in the hell did that idiot go?!"

"You mean Winged Pony-kun?"

"Yes!"

"He went that way, Iruka-sensei." Tenten cuts in, pointing in the direction the 'pony' took off in.

Nodding, Iruka gives chase, leaving three confused genin and one concussed jounin behind.

"I wonder why Iruka-sensei is chasing that pony. Or why he suddenly changed hair colors and grew a tail. ...And a horn." Tenten wonders outloud as she glances at their bleeding and unconscious sensei.

"I'm not even going there." Neji's voice is flat as he turns his back on them and walks away. Tenten spares another glance at their teacher and Lee before following.


	3. Chapter 3

...I kept promising and promising to get this chapter out well over a (almost two) week(s) ago. The muses decided that it was time for them to go to sleep. After days of threatening them, beating my head against a wall and finally getting down on my knees and _begging_ them, they woke up. (Granted, had some help from reading a friend's story.)

This looks like it's going to be the shortest chapter. Still undecided about the last chapter. Chapter four is going to hilarious. At least to me.

Don't own Naruto or My Little Pony. Borrowing them for a bit.

I really didn't like how this chapter came out. Might go back and rewrite it at a later date. It's all Sasuke's fault. He just did NOT want to cooperate with me.

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"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The scream has Sasuke's eyes flying open only to come face to face with something extremely _pink_ and _glittery _that is flailing aroundEyes crossed, he scrambles backwards to hit the ground. Feeling extremely uncoordinated and blinks several times to try and understand just what he is seeing. The large pink and glittery thing turns out to be a pony with delicate wings and a darker pink mane and tail. Something nags in the back of his mind that the pony looks oddly familiar. He turns his attention to the second pony, orange in color. Who is currently sleeping on its back, legs sticking up and mumbling. Shifting, Sasuke rises and takes a step only to end up flat on his face. Growling, he pushes himself upright only to freeze in place. His arms no longer there, a pair of dark blue almost black horse legs in their place. Everything suddenly clicks into place and he realizes just who the other ponies are. "Naruto!"

Naruto only mutters again in his sleep, "'ramen...all you can eat ramen...I'm going to beat you, bastard. Stupid Kakashi-sensei...zzzz..." Flops over onto his side, one wing pinned but doesn't seem to notice.

Twitching, Sasuke ignores the wailing Sakura as he plants his legs and manages to stomp over and kicks the sleeping idiot in the head.

"What was that for you bastard?!" Bolting upright, Naruto rears, ready for a fight only to halt when he spins, coming around to face Sasuke and Sakura. "...Sasuke?"

"Who else, idiot?"

"...You make a lousy looking horse, bastard."

"Ponies. Horses are bigger. If you studied, you would know that." Retorts, ears flat as he scowls at his teammate.

"Whatever. You look like a freak."

"Don't call Sasuke-kun that!" Sakura finally stops lamenting about turning into a pink pony with glittery wings and goes to 'her' Sasuke-kun's defense. She kicks Naruto in the head than stops and lets out an far too evil sounding crackle. Both boys slowly begin to inch backwards away from their psychotic teammate. Her head twists in Naruto's direction as she turns her body very slowly. "TAKE THIS!"

The suddenness of her scream leaves both Naruto and Sasuke stunned for a split second. The moment that she needs to launch herself across the distance separating them and tackles Naruto to the ground. Plummeling him with her hooves, she laughs manically.

Shrieking, Naruto flails about before kicking her off and gallops off with Sakura right on his heels.

Sasuke stares after his friends for a moment before turning his attention elsewhere. Eyes scanning the rolling landscape, he tries to place where they are. "Kakashi?" Half-hoping that their teacher is somewhere nearby, wherever 'here' is. Faint noises caught his attention and he looks over, seeing a single pony approaching.

"NARUTO I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"HAHA YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!"

"GET DOWN YOU, YOU IDIOT!"

"WHOA! LOOK! I'M UPSIDEDOWN!"

Sakura's shout changes, becoming almost panicky. "NARUTO! WAT...!" Her voice trails off as a loud thud fills the air. "...Watch out."

Glancing behind him, Sasuke stares at her then tilts his head upwards to see Naruto swaying back and forth from his tail. Head dropping, he wonders why he is friends with him, much less best friends. Ignoring the strange pony nearing their location, he experimentally flaps the wings attached to his back and makes his way carefully towards Naruto. "Idiot."

"Watch who you are calling an idiot, bastard!" Blue eyes narrow as he struggles, kicking as he tries to get enough momenturm going to bash Sasuke's skull in. His tail firmly tangled around the tree branch.

Dodging instinctively, he starts to pry Naruto free, using the only thing he has available: his teeth.

"HEY! Get your mouth away from my ass!"

Not even bothering replying to that absurd comment, he rips several hairs free causing Naruto to drop a bit. Spitting them out, he idly comments. "You might want to level off or you're going to fall, idiot, and break your neck."

Below them, Sakura spins in circles, cheerfully singing how pretty she is and how lovely her wings are. Completely oblivious to what is going on literally right above her head. The boys look at each other then down at their female teammate. Silence reins for a long moment. "Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"Do you think what Sakura-chan has is contagious?"

"If it is, we would already have it." Voice bland and unemotional, Sasuke finishes freeing Naruto and makes his way down to the earth carefully. Naruto, however, has no qualms about divebombing towards the ground. Zooming past, he shrieks as he tries to hit the brakes. Colliding with Sakura, they both start to roll down the small hill they were on. "..." Sasuke doesn't budge as he watches them roll away, shrieks and curses flying out of the orange and pink blob.

"Your friends are certainly noisy."

Barely holding back a flinch, Sasuke turns to face the newcomer. Taking in what she looks like instantly, he shrugs a shoulder. "They're always like that."

Ember gazes at the youngster and finally looks down at Sakura and Naruto as they yell, trying to free themselves. "We've gotten more visitors lately then in a long time. Especially from your people."

"Mine?"

"Ninja. Konoha, to be specific."

Warily regarding the pale pink pony, Sasuke stands there, trying not to show his shock. Looking away, he mutters. "Where are we?"

"My home, Ponyland." Smiling at him, Ember flickers her tail and looks down at the other two who finally freed themselves and now making their way back up the hill. "Someone will be coming by for you three. To take you home."

"Who?"

"Yo."

His head coming up on hearing that familiar voice, Sasuke turns to face his teacher only to come face to face with a silver pony with a hitai-ate covering one eye. "Kakashi?"

Glancing pass the Uchiha, Kakashi calls out. "Sakura, Naruto hurry up. We don't have much time."

"Kakashi?"

"I'll explain later, Sasuke."

Glowering, he drops the matter. For now.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Two voices mingle together then the rest of Team Seven crash to a halt.

"Time to go." Ember's voice cuts across anything that they were going to shout, her voice firm. "Kakashi, I see that the potion didn't work."

"Haven't used it yet." Grinning at the startled look on her face, he shrugs. "I had a feeling that it was better to wait."

"Translation: You just wanted to annoy Iruka."

"That too."

Giving him a look, she sighs and rolls her eyes. "Take it soon, or you'll really be stuck. Now it's time for you to go." Shifting her weight, she nods to them all and trots away then turns around to face them, watching.

Kakashi faces his students and grins before grabbing the nearest one who just happens to be Naruto. Twisting, he leaps into the air and throws the orange pony.

Screaming, Naruto rails curses at his teacher until his voice is abruptly cut off even as he vanishes in mid-air.

"Next." Sounding incredibly cheerful, Kakashi does the same to a wailing and shrieking Sakura and once she is through what is an invisible portal, he turns to Sasuke.

"Just try it." Scowl firmly entrenched on his face, he dares him to even attempt that. Leaping into the air, he races towards what he hopes is the portal. Colliding with something solid yet not, he feels stretched out as he gets sucked inside and pulled through whatever it is. Landing heavily, he rolls onto his back and blinks. Sitting up, he looks around to see Hokage Mountain stretching upwards in the distance. A sigh of relief has him looking for his friends and spots them rising to their feet. Glancing down at himself, he sees that he is fully human once more. A light thump behind him has him turning to stare at Kakashi.

Waving, he nods at the dark-haired teen, human once more himself and after checking on Sakura and Naruto, he leers at Sasuke before vanishing in a cloud of smoke.

"..." Shudders as he banishes the thought of what Kakashi might now be getting up to.

"Sasuke! Come on! Let's get ramen!"

"..." Looking over his shoulder, he wonders briefly if the portal is closed and who were the others that pony spoke about.

"Sasuke-kun! Naruto is going to eat all the food!"

"Hn." Following them, he pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

I swear, this story is trying to become non-crack. The last chapter wasn't very good, in my opinion. Probably because I was trying to force Sasuke into a roll he just isn't suited for. Sakura and Naruto were very willing to cooperate.

Also, has anyone else thought that Ember was being too calm? Or she was plotting something?

Usual applies: Don't own either.

Be warned: Lots of crack ahead.

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"Gai-sensei! Gai-sensei!"

Lee's frantic voice cuts into Gai's thoughts and he turns to face his favorite student. Confusion flickering across his face as he stares at the dark green pony with orange stockings and messy black hair. "Lee?"

"Look, Gai-sensei! We're ponies!"

"HOW MARVELOUS! NOW WE CAN TAKE TO THE SKIES AND SHOW EVERYONE HOW MUCH WE ARE IN THE SPRINGTIME OF OUR YOUTH!"

"..." Neji stares at his teammates as they run in circles around each other, attempting to fly. "That would only work if you had wings."

Skidding to a halt at Neji's words, Gai falls flat on his face. Giant tears slide down his face as he shouts. "How horrible! We are earth-bound, Lee! No flight for us!"

"Make it stop." Tenten's voice comes from behind Neji and he glances over at her, silently taking in the black pony staring at him. Ignoring Lee's voice mingling with Gai's as they embrace, tears flowing freely from both of them. The sound of waves doesn't even make either of them twitch like it use to.

"How?"

"I don't know! Push them off the cliff! Just make them stop." Her voice holds a near pleading whine.

Turning his head back around, he stares at the two green ponies with matching orange legs while in Gai's case, they're leg warmers still. "Alright."

"COME LEE! We must embrace our destiny!" Bounding to the top of the cliff, Gai strikes a Good Guy Pose #46 on his hindlegs. Lee cheers on the older man...ehh pony as he tries to mimic him. "WHAT A LOVELY VIEW LEE! LOOK AT HOW NATURE IS COMPLETELY UNCORRUPTED!" His voice rings out as he goes into Good Guy Pose # 79, created to show his Eternal Rival that there are differences in his poses.

Heading up the side of the cliff, Neji decides to just push both of them and leave it at that, doubting that either would suffer many injuries from how hard their skills are. Approaching, he gazes at Gai carefully to decide the best way of going about it before just shoving him right off the edge with his foreleg. Lee's shrieks turn fearful and angry as he bellows for the man.

"GAI-SENSEI!! NEJI LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!!"

Turning to Lee, Neji silently swings his head to the side, knocking him over as well. Gazing after him, he watches as Lee and further down, Gai-sensei, tumble head over rump until they are barely visible.

"NEJIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Lee's voice echos as he goes tumbling over the edge, fading as he gets further away.

He stares down at the small figures below. Nodding satisfied that his goal has been reached, he backs up and turns, looking for Tenten. Who has stuck her head in a pile of leaves, her back end sticking out as she tries desperately to block out everything.

"..." He sighs and makes his wave to her. "Tenten."

"They're gone?" Her voice is muffled by the leaves surrounding her head and most of her shoulders.

"Yes."

The pile of leaves shiver and shift, Tenten's head emerging and she pushes herself upright, shaking the leaves out of her hair. "I wonder where we are."

"Ponyland."

Both of them spin and topple over at the unexpected voice. Ember grins as they both glare at her. Her eyes flicker to the cliff then back to them. "Did you enjoy tossing your teacher over the cliff?"

"..."

"Who are you?" Cutting in, Tenten steps forward until she is shoulder to shoulder with Neji. Watching the pink pony warily.

"My name is Ember. This is my home."

"How do we get back to our's?" Her next question comes racing out before Ember can say anything more.

Sadness flickers through her eyes as she shrugs her shoulders. "I wish I could say. The portal that Kakashi's team used has closed. Mister Moochic doesn't have any fairy dust left and the way Kakashi and Iruka returned to Konoha was unexpected. I tried to recreate that method but nothing happened. I believe that it was due to Iruka winking both him and Kakashi back to Konoha subconsciously. As I'm not a unicorn, I don't have the ability to wink."

"Kakashi-sensei was here?"

Nodding, Ember mentions the others that also was brought through. "As well as Sakura, Naruto, Sakura, Genma and Raidou."

"Why so many?" Neji's wariness increases as he stares at her.

Opening her mouth to answer him, a shout drowns her out.

"BEHOLD, MY LOVELY STUDENTS! WE HAVE RETURNED." Gai and Lee, both battered and covered in cuts, blood and dirt come bounding up the hill and strike identical Dramatic Poses.

"..." Ember regards them tentatively before whispering at Tenten and Neji. "Are they always like this?"

"Always."

Disbelief on her face as she claps a hoof to her face and exhales. "Why do I have to be stuck with the weird ones? Why must the weirdest of the lot be stuck here?"

"Stuck? What do you mean, stuck?!" Tenten whips her head around to fix a glare on Ember.

"Exactly what it sounded like. Currently, there is no way to send you home. If one or two of you had been unicorns, I would suggest trying to wink. All four of you are Earthlings. Like I am. We can't wink in or out nor can we fly like the pegasus or flutter ponies." A pause then she continues dryly. "If I had a way to send you home, I most certainly _would._ My sanity is important to me."

"Hah! Try dealing with them daily for four years." Letting out a laugh, Tenten retorts. "Your sanity becomes very questionable after that long."

Silence descends on them as Ember calmly stands there, absorbing what Tenten just said and closes her eyes. "I'm going to go find Mister Moochic and see if he can come up with a way to send you home as soon as possible." Turning, she begins to walk away but pauses as Neji's voice fills the air.

"Should we stay here?"

"You don't have to. There's an empty house nearby you can stay in, if you wish. Head towards the forest and follow the stream until you reach a large rock. Turn right at that and you'll come across the cabin. I'll be able to find you no matter where you go." Nodding at them, she quickly leaves. Much faster then what is called for, almost as if she is fleeing.

Looking at each other, Neji and Tenten share a long, silent look before turning as one and heads towards the forest, following the female pony's directions. Leaving behind their neurotic teammates.

Shouts of, 'Gai-sensei!' 'Lee!' follow them as they move away from them as fast as possible without it actually looking like they _are_ running away.

"Gai-sensei! Neji and Tenten left! We must chase after them!"

"Right Lee! Let us show out our Powers of Youth!"

A dust cloud forms as Lee and Gai race after the other two who give up the ghost and begin to run in earnest.

"NEJI! TENTEN! COME BACK!"

"They're catching up, Neji!"

Pushing himself faster, he doesn't waste his breathe answering her.

"MY LOVELY STUDENTS! WHAT A MARVELOUS IDEA TO HAVE A RACE!"

Tenten wails mentally as they catch up then pass them by.

"HAHAH! THAT IS IT, MY STUDENTS, BUT YOU SHALL NEVER BEAT ME! FOR I AM KONOHA'S GREEN BEAST!"

Slowly down, Tenten wishes that Iruka-sensei would burst from the trees again with another rock and bash it against Gai-sensei's head just to get him to shut up. _'Why did I have to get him as a sensei?!' _

Coming to a halt, Neji slantes his eyes half closed and just watches as the two green beasts vanish into the distance. Feeling something brush against his side, he twists his head around to stare at Tenten who is resting her head on his back. "..Tenten...now is not the time for that."

Shooting him a look, she doesn't budge. "That's wrong, Neji, on so many levels. I can't believe you just said that."

Quickly looking away, he scans the area for the large boulder that Ember mentioned to them.

"You've been around Kakashi-san too much." Teases him now, she grinning at the back of his head.

_**"Tenten." **_

"Heh!" She lets out a very amused laugh and bolts around a tree, leaving him staring after her. The blush slowly fading from his cheeks.


End file.
